Organized Desk

Staying Organized! Organize Your Life For Success!
Organizing the content of your life based on your needs is a best practice for managing your time, resources and money and is an essential first step if you are to fully achieve your potential in life. The reasons for this are simple. An organized clear mind leads to clear and objective goals, which in turn leads to you being able to achieve what you set out to do.

A critical first step then in staying organized is to set up a system of resource planning and clerical needs that allows you to plan out your time effectively, and allocate where you are going to spend it. In short this means such steps as getting a day planner so that you can plan ahead. Getting appropriate stationary systems and office space in place, and also getting yourself a filing cabinet, or at the very least some kind of filing system!

It would certainly be true to say that staying organized then is not something that lots of people do naturally! At first it can even seem slightly stifling, especially if you are used to totally going with the flow of what each day brings. In truth this is ok. It IS good to be spontaneous on occasions, but in general it is vital to plan out what you need to do in a particular time frame, because otherwise it is all to easy to simply become distracted! (For help with Goal Setting you can visit http://www.goalsettingnews.com)

All of us know this to be true if we think about it from the viewpoint of our own lives. For example, when we surf the web we find ourselves flitting between sites, and before you know it a couple of hours have past! Now, don't get me wrong. That is one of the joys of the internet, and of life in General. But it is
nevertheless a time stealer that staying focused and staying organised could have helped to negate.

So then am I saying that Staying Organized should mean robbing you of the juice of life? Robbing you of the spontaneity? NO! No! NO! For me the exact opposite is true. Staying organized is about finishing the day's tasks and having crammed far more good stuff in! In short it is the exact opposite of a spoil sport! ;)

You should know your own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to this area (clue... Staying organized means doing more of the things you like!) and communicate them to yourself regularly to analyze that your wants and needs are being met effectively. Then organize your time based on that feedback.

Keep with the program. Stay Organized, and Organize YOUR Life For Success!

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Help for ADD Clutter Bugs
So many adults with ADD are plagued with clutter! Our desks are covered with papers. Our sinks are full of dishes. Our floors and counters are strewn with stuff.

Where Does Clutter Come From?

Clutter builds up easily for many ADDers. Sometimes, we get distracted and just place a paper or an object wherever it's convenient. Other times we find that, despite our best efforts, we just don't know where to put something, so we put it anywhere. Other times, we just don't care what goes where and why, and we shun the idea of "organization."

No matter why your clutter builds up, one things is clear: clutter affects the mind in a negative way.

How Clutter Affects the Mind

Looking at your clutter can often zap your energy on the spot. You get angry with yourself for letting it get to this point...and then you feel bad.

You want to clean up, you want to be organized, but you just don't know where to start...and that makes you feel bad, too.

Because you don't know where to start - and because cleaning and organizing is not your most favorite activity - you procrastinate...and that makes you feel even worse.

The result is that your clutter sticks around, untouched. And if you do manage to make some headway, chances are you'll be feeling bad again when the clutter quickly comes back.

What an awful cycle!

What to Do

There is a proven way for ADDers to deal with clutter, and it's a 3-step process:

1. Sort the stuff
2. Create the systems
3. Plan the follow through

However, the key to making this process work is to step back from the problem in order to create the solutions.

It's very difficult to deal with a problem like clutter when you're in the middle of it. The stress of the situation prevents you from accessing the motivation, energy, and skills you need to deal with the problem. It's necessary to remove yourself from the situation in order to deal with it.

Most Importantly: Don't Judge Yourself

Don't judge yourself because you tend to accumulate clutter - it will only prevent you from dealing with the problem. And it helps to know that many adults with ADD have problems managing clutter. But do know that when you are ready to deal with it, you can successfully get rid of your clutter!

Jennifer Koretsky is an ADD Management Coach and the Founder of Experience ADDvantages, LLC. To learn how you can eliminate your clutter for good, please visit http://www.ADDclutterbusters.com

Advantages of a Furnished Apartment
The first issue for you to consider whenever you want to rent an apartment is whether you need it for a long period of time or a short one. This is very important because if you are intending to spend more years in an apartment you may consider to make some changes in it. This will be a sort of 'home' for you and the idea is that you should like it. For short-term contracts there are some hotel-type accommodations which offer furnished apartments. These are generally named 'Extended Stay Hotels' or 'Corporate Housing'. The name suggests that the persons who are using this service are sent by their company for a couple of months duties. These furnished apartments are cheaper than a regular hotel-room because you are given a discount for using the apartment for a longer period of time. The annual rentals are the name of the houses and apartments which can be rented for a long period of time. The duration of the contracts for these is in between 6 months and a year. A very pertinent question regarding the matter of renting a furnished apartment is where to find the advertisement or the media aspect which announces an available apartment or house. You can look for them mostly in the 'rentals' or 'apartments' in your local newspaper or the newspaper distributed in the particular town you will move to. You can find many offers in these newspapers and if something attracts you can make a phone-call and the administrator will be most pleased to show you around. You can also look for furnished apartments on the Internet by specifying the city and even the area you would prefer to rent an apartment. There are many websites specialized in this field which will show you the best offers and discounts for the furnished apartments. You should chose the free websites which are paid by the persons who are willing to rent their apartment.This is worthwhile to be mentioned as there are websites which will ask for an amount of money from you so as to present you the available furnished apartments from that town. The price is not standard, yet most of the websites are asking for about $100 for this task and they ask it in advance. Many announcements are made in the local stores or supermarkets and you should be always alerted for any possibilities. Mention to every person you meet that you are in need for a furnished apartment: friends, persons you work with because if they hear about an offer they will let you know.

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To Make Me Work, I’ve Got To Make We Work
Let’s face it. You know there’s something more you can contribute than feel isolated in your 9-to-5. You also know you have a unique ability or developing abilities that nobody else has, and can share that with the rest of the world. So why lay those talents and skills dormant to what the world THINKS you ought to be?

What the world NEEDS of you is your ability to work with others and to share with them your individual talents to support your as well as the world’s dreams. Let me clarify that I’m not talking about delusions of grandeur or wishful thinking. Watch a beginning episode of American Idol and that should give you a clue of who hallucinates for stardom versus those who are star-material. And what separates the star from the dreamer is the person who realizes what it truly is, that person has of him/herself to offer to the world. And more than likely a team of people had to believe and support that star in the first place. If the “bigger� market is always in a state of basic supply and demand then consider what this “smaller� person and his total interaction with world had to offer.

Born in 1940 in Bangladesh he spent his childhood years in a village called Bathua and was raised Muslim. A few years later, he moved with his family to the city of Chittagong for his father to run a jewelry business. He was always the studious type but also interested in activities and travel that would complement his studies, such as being involved in the Boy Scouts and the World Scouts Jamboree. During his teen and adolescent years, not only did he travel through Europe and Asia by road to experience cultural activities, but also as thespian means to enhance his drama acting performances.

From 1957 to 1961 he completed his B.A. and M.A. to join the ranks of the Bureau of Economics. Starting off as a research assistant, he was later appointed as a lecturer in economics at a college in Chittagong, the same city where he had spent much of his youth. He was soon offered a Fulbright Scholarship to study in the United States and obtained his Ph.D. from Vanderbilt University in the United States in 1969 and became an assistant professor in economics at Middle Tennessee States University in 1972.

However in 1976, his research and visits to some of the poorest nearby villages began to channel into a vision that he saw the world desperately needed. He realized that very small loans could make a huge impact to a poor person. Yet traditional banks would not make small-sized, or micro-loans, even at equitable interest rates to the poor since they were considered repayment risks.

Drawing from leadership inspiration from Dr. Khan, a rural development expert, and from what he saw could help both traditional banks as well as the poor, this man by the name of Muhammad Yunus finally succeeded in securing these micro-loans from a government bank to lend to a part of the country’s poor in December 1976. Other banks provided loans to the government bank to help fund the loaned business projects and was later renamed Grameen Bank, which stands for “of village.� To ensure the repayment of these loans, the Grameen Bank uses support or “solidarity groups� to apply together for loans and to use individual members as co-guarantors of repayment. Not only would individual members be held accountable for fiscal repayment, but they would also support each other’s efforts towards their ventured advancements.

To date the Grameen Bank has issued more than $6 billion to over 7 million borrowers and offers loans to various types of public as well as private projects. The Grameen model has inspired very similar efforts throughout developing nations including industrialized nations such as the United States. Finally in 2006 Dr. Muhammad Yunus was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize along with the Grameen Bank.

This is a joint award that not only the individual Dr. Yunus deserved but also to the team that shared in that vision. Build your team. Build your dream.

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The Psychology of Being Organized
Individuals who are organized in their personal lives most generally constitute efficient and organized employees in their work environments, succeed in their personal endeavors and are, more often than not, financially secure.

Once an organizational state of mind is established, your status of efficiency in all areas of your life will ultimately benefit.

There is a profound psychological thread that binds all areas of your existence into one distinctive unit. A messy house trashed with useless clutter is an abstract representation of many lives ? also muddled with unnecessary debris that needs to be regrouped, set aside, hidden out of sight or, better yet, disposed of completely. Wasted thoughts, wasted energy and wasted time all add up to wasted money.

In contrast, a well kept home and yard tend to indicate a well-ordered existence in every area of your life, whether it is financial, emotional or physical.

Human nature prescribes that the way you handle your household affairs is generally the same method of productivity you bring to the work place and to society in general. Those who have little respect for their own possessions and authority at home, usually have even less regard for the possessions or authority of others.

Finding yourself ?off course? creates an emotional imbalance, resulting in a feeling of being overwhelmed. This ?overwhelming feeling? triggers a significant panic reaction that generally results in prompting you to attempt to correct everything at once. So you rush back and forth from one chore to another, not completing anything, thereby temporarily losing focus on any one particular project. Consequently, nothing gets completed and a vicious circle begins.

Living such an indiscriminate lifestyle denies you the feeling of exhilaration and pride in completing any project. Look realistically at what is happening and what you are doing to yourself. Look at the time and energy you are spending yet receiving nothing in return. At best, you end up with a sloppy, half-completed job and feelings of personal guilt and failure over it because you know you could have done better. When you decide you?ve had enough of that kind of life, maybe it?s time to make a change.

Organization is having a system for everything. By utilizing these systems, or routines, you manage to run a household, you manage to be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there, you manage to do everything that needs to be done and you manage to find the time to do the things you enjoy. The only way you can manage to do it all these days is if you are organized. And that means having a system. It?s really the easy way out, but so few people seem to be able to grasp it.

With a little planning and personal ingenuity you can turn your life into a methodical system of well-orchestrated routines, always ready to meet the next challenge life has to offer. It sounds so simple, doesn?t it? That?s because it is. Being organized is truly the easy way out.

Organization must begin with an inward determination to break away from the standard state of confusion and disorder, to a simpler way of life. Since each individual, each situation and each circumstance is unique, so must your method of tackling each challenge take on its own distinctive flair. Your own creative genius will ultimately discover effectual shortcuts in handling these situations, each requiring a slightly different organizational procedure.

Self-discipline is the only required equipment you will need to make any necessary change in your life. As easy as that may sound, there is one minor challenge: Self-discipline is against man?s nature.

Self-discipline is taming the inward ?savage beast? of discontentment. Telling yourself you are happy despite any difficult circumstances you may encounter in life, appreciating what you have rather than constantly demanding more, living within your means and sticking to your personal standards are conditions that lead to sincere personal happiness. Each of these attributes requires self-discipline.

The more you develop self-discipline, the easier it becomes in all facets of every day life. Sheer determination and a continuous focus on the end result will become the ultimate factors in your acquisition of a life of near-perfection.

Perfection is an inaccessible goal, but making the most of what you have in the easiest, most efficient manner, comes pretty close to it. There is always room for improvement and there is always a simpler, better, and more efficient way of getting things done if you look hard enough to find it.

The closest thing to perfection any individual can hope for in this life is to be happy with yourself the way you are and to simply appreciate what you have.

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Organize Life & Business~ 5 Steps to Get Organized & Energized
“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up." A. A. Milne

In personal development growth occurs more easily when we create space to grow. In order to experience living beyond limits in business or personal lives we must rid ourselves of the chaos and clutter that keeps us clogged up. To change life and business begin by getting organized.

1- Know Your Top Priority Zones- Focus on 3 to 5. Top priority zones are the most valuable areas of your life. Consider the roles you play throughout the day. What means the most to you long-term? Examples are spirituality, self-care, family, business, career, home, education, hobbies, volunteer work, etc. To make the best time management decisions know your priorities. You will be challenged by a new opportunity. Does it honor your priorities? If not, say 'no' for now.

Under each top priority zone list the top 3-5 priorities. For instance, under self-care you could have exercise, take vitamins, eat 5 fruits/ vegetables, read for 30 minutes, and drink 8 glasses of water daily. The more you can simplify and get focused the better.

2- Schedule Blocks of Time- Blocks of time for your various priority zones give you time and a clear focus on the priorities in each area. Consider how much time you need and how much you can commit to each priority. When is the best time of day to schedule it so that you follow through? Customize your schedule to fit your energy level and personality so your time is used efficiently.

3- Now you can create your "to do" list or "toleration" list- What are you putting up with that needs to be handled. Get it out of your head and into a system such as a list, daytimer, palm pilot, blackberry, computer, etc. Plan to do it, delegate it, or dump it. What can you let go of? Give yourself permission to let go so you can focus on what will make the greatest difference.

4- Systematize- Create systems that save you time and make life easier. If there is an area not working for you chances are it is in need of a simple system. How often are you running to the store and what can you do to make one trip? When you buy something new, get rid of something old so your closets never get packed. How can you spend less time waiting in lines, managing e-mail, and handling paperwork? What marketing system can you put in place so you know exactly what to do each day. Create a home for everything so you know exactly where items go. Instead of items landing where they were left have a designated space for office supplies, a space for hardware, etc. Pick up more ideas at www.StartingNowCoaching.com .

5- Set Yourself Up for Peak Performance- Take regular breaks to rejuvenate. In the book the Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, the authors Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz suggest taking 10 minute breaks every 90 minutes. Get plenty of sleep and choose healthy energy sources vs. adrenaline for endurance. By the way...I hope you chose self-care as one of your top priorities.

Take a day off, get help, do what it takes to organize your life and business. Save time doing what you don't like and more time doing what gets you pumped. That's when you will bubble over sharing the special gifts you have to offer and we will all be better off. StartingNow!

Copyright 2006, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.

Beth Tabak of <a href="http://www.StartingNowCoaching.com">www.StartingNowCoaching.com</a> is committed to small business coaching & personal life coaching. She is also a speaker and columnist. Beth coaches big thinkers to move beyond limits, stand out in the crowd, and experience the vastness of their capabilities. Stop by to see all the gifts available to you and say "hello".

The Key to a Happy Life: Striking a Balance at Work and at Home
In a culture obsessed with high tech gadgetry, cellphones, credit cards, fast cars, large houses, and job titles --- it should be no surprise that most people experience stress and anxiety. The strain of striving after material advantage and the dictates of the Almighty Dollar have made many people virtual slaves in their offices. Even after working more than 50 hours a week... even after getting every material need and luxury that money can buy... many people still live unhappily. The corporate success, instead of bringing fulfillment, has left many executives and employees with a feeling emptiness and disillusionment. The over-concentration on fame and fortune have made many professionals weary and depressed. The incentives, awards, and accolades somehow could not help them get rid of stress and anxiety. But there is still hope for the tired executive and the downtrodden worker. Stress and anxiety need not ruin lives and careers. To get back on track, it may be helpful to consider the following advice on how to be an achiever who lives a balanced life: Writing It Down What we really are lacking is balance. A good start would be to have a career and life plan that balances your time and effort between the office and the home. If we plan carefully, we will most likely make the right action or choices. Life shouldn't be a big enigma. Life can be made simple and enjoyable. A career or life plan must start with having a stated purpose. Knowing what you really want helps you get rid of unnecessary fatigue brought about by things which are not really important to you. Knowing your priorities also help you get rid of unnecessary worries and prevents you from wasting energy. Writing it down --- putting your plan on paper --- is the first step on having a balanced life. Your first agenda would be knowing what you want. Do you prefer to have a fun personal or family life, vibrant health more than having financial success or a well-respected position? Maybe you can have both without making any sacrifice in terms of time or quality of life? When you write it down, the process of marking your priorities would be much easier. Recharge Yourself Like most people, you too must be so full of stress about the daily traffic, office politics, family chaos, the endless bill payments --- the foibles that sap all the energy in you. You rarely have fun at home or enjoy your work because you always feel tired and hassled. Maybe it's time to ask yourself when was the last time you spent quality time to re-connect with your family. Maybe it's also time to take a look at your inner life...your spiritual bearings. The very heart of the matter is that in order to live a life you love, you need to have a healthy body that will allow you to live it. You must take care of your physical and spiritual well-being. Take time to recharge, which is really what stress management is all about. You can start recharging by answering these questions: l Am I bored? l Do I get enough exercise? l Is my medication any help at all? l What really makes me sick? l Are my loved ones (or friends), or my job draining all my energy? Fact is, our state of physical well-being has a direct impact on the quality of our lives. It impacts our work, business, and relationships. So we must take care our bodies well enough by taking vitamins, eating right, getting enough sleep and rest, and by exercising regularly. Are you being too self-satisfied? To get our bearings, it is important to be constantly aware of our priorities. A good way to start re-defining one's priorities is by answering the following questions: l Are you neglecting yourself physically, mentally or spiritually? l Are you neglecting your spouse, your children, your peers? l Are you fulfilling your commitments? l Are you operating in your comfort zone? When you say “mostlyâ€� yes to to those questions. Well then, its not the end of the world. Being self-important can be overcome through a conscious decision to strive to do just a bit than you used to do. Being self-satisfied or having an air of self-importance is a detriment to creating or even maintaining a balanced life. Pride, selfishness, and conceit should always be put in check. It's all about balance You might be wondering where did Time go? Your to-do list is increasing, you have countless meetings, on top of it, its your wife's birthday, pick up junior from his baseball practice this Friday. You just have so much to do that your life is eroding away. You don't realize it but you have to power to manage your everyday stresses and these helpful tips will ease the pressures off your back. l Utilize Your Plan of action â€" Start focusing. Which ones from your to-do list is the one you really want to do? Which ones can be delegated. l Don't be the Lone Ranger for every crisis or situation- Even The lone ranger can used a side kick and not everything can get the job done by just being alone. l Give yourself a pat on the back- Every once in a while. Give yourself credit. Acknowledge all the good things you have done. Being overwhelmed or too stressed out is really your making. Remember that you always have a choice between feeling good or feeling bad about yourself and the world you live in. It is up to you to say no to commitments you can no longer keep...it is up to you to say no to negative thoughts and yes to optimism...it is up to you to live a balanced, happy life.

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A Place For Everything In Your Home
Are there homeless items living in your home? If you're like most families, you have countless bits and pieces lacking designated spaces, so the homeless items are left lying on the nearest shelf or countertop.

After awhile all the little items without a home begin to accumulate, causing clutter and chaos in your household. Without a specific place for everything, your level of discomfort may increase because when you need one of these floating items you will not know exactly where to go to find it. Talk about stressful!

How do you combat the urge to throw your stuff on the kitchen table and decide to put it away later? First of all, stop telling yourself that you'll ‘Get to it later.' For most people, later means ‘When I can no longer see the table top and have to eat dinner on top of a pile of newspapers.' Unless you're one of the blessed few who weren't born with the ‘do it later gene' you know how quickly the mess can pile up and how uncomfortable the resulting feeling can be. Your home becomes a cluttered mess, less than welcoming place to hang out.

When was the last time you were searching frantically for your checkbook only to find it well hidden underneath a stack of junk mail? What about the universal search for the illusive car keys? How many jobs were ultimately lost because the key search went on for thirty minutes or more on a daily basis? The solution is simple really. Every item in your home needs its own ‘place to be.'

Items like Junk mail and newspapers should be thrown out daily. Or, if reading the newspaper is becoming just another chore, cancel your newspaper subscription, and, instead read your news online!

So what do you do about those items that you can't quite figure out where to store? Items like odd batteries and eye glass cleaner. I'll tell you what not to do. Don't buy a large rubber container and label it ‘miscellaneous.' Obviously, if you don't know exactly what's in your miscellaneous bin, you're only containing chaos in a smaller space.

Instead, purchase a set of multiple storage bins. Each bin can store one type of otherwise homeless stuff. Give each bin its own ‘address' or label and put in the matching contents. Just remember to avoid the ‘get to it later' trap when you initially bring the item into your home.

The old saying, ‘a place for everything and everything in its place' applies more in today's world than ever before. There are books and courses dedicated to ‘home organization.' Honestly, a course isn't going to help break the bad habits that caused the problem in the first place. Ending clutter must become a habit, just like brushing your teeth each day; only if you can find the toothpaste. Decide today. If the homeless have taken over your home, then get up and get started. You'll love the feeling!

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Organize Life | What does it take?
Would you like a 10 minute system that helps you organize
life in every important area?

Everything in our life comes from how we organize it,
right?

When everything is organized we can do more, achieve
more, become more, and enjoy everything more too, can't we?
Can't you?

Life throws many punches. Are you Overwhelmed? Frustrated?
Dissatisfied?

I might be biased, because it's my great passion, but I
believe Life Organization is the biggest frontier of
development opening up this decade.

You found this article, and you are reading this article,
for some general as well as very specific issues in your
life that you recognize would be better for you if better
organized.

Are you looking for a serious program to totally organize
life? Are you looking for some temporary techniques to
apply now? Or are you looking for permanent principles to
add for your entire life?

To organize life you will capture every worthwhile
thought to efficiently choose your actions for all that
is important to you, without wasting time or losing time,
and allowing you to succeed at whatever you desire.

At times we get off track, whether practically, or with
our efficiency, or emotionally.

At those times, I do a 10 Minute Get-on-track review.
Essentially it is about writing down things weighing
on my mind.

The following categories of self-questions will help you
do your organize life 10 minute focus sessions.

Organize Life for Self - Get in touch with your own
emotions and physical experience. Accept and appreciate
how ever you feel right now. This is the core of how to
organize life. It starts from within.

Organize Life for Yesterday - I then take a moment to
reflect on yesterday, as that is where I have come from.

Organize Life for Today - Think of the fixed appointments,
the general layout of the day, and the areas of the day
where you decide exactly how to spend the time.

Organize Life for Civilisation - Become mindful of my
place and purpose in the society. How would I like to
organize my contribution and influence in civilisation?

Organize Life for Ideally Organized Living - What is the
most ideal situation for your life? What things would
you love to do, have, and be?

Organize Life for Projects - Consider the specific things
you are working on at present? The tasks, responsibilities,
projects, hobbies, interests, etc.

Organize Life for Right Now - Through the above
self-question process you are probably now ready to decide
on the next step activities to organize your life even more.

This 10 minute review might take longer when you first
do it. Take your time with it, and remember this
article. I can guarantee by doing this simple 10 minute
process regularly your life will become more and more
organized.

Nathan Shaw has just released his new 2006 Organize Life Experience to help you <a href="http://www.organizedr.com/h/">Organize Everything</a> and has made it available FREE to our readers. Or read an article on how to <a href="http://www.organizedr.com/o/">Organize It</a>.

Self Esteem: You Are Not Who You Think You Are
David sat in front of me at one of my five-day intensive workshops. A successful businessman with a wife and two grown children, David believed that he was not good enough.

?I?m insufficient,? he said. ?I?m inadequate.?

I looked at this kind man and felt deep sadness for him. He did not know who he was.

?Why do you believe that?? I asked.

?I didn?t do well in school, and I?ve made lots of mistakes in my life.?

?So you are basing your worth on your performance, right??

?Of course.?

David could not conceive of any other way of defining his worth other than through his performance ? which he never saw as good enough.

I asked David to look inside ? at the essence of himself - and tell me what he sees. All he saw was emptiness.

?David, please close your eyes. Now imagine a wonderful being who loves you very much. Who comes to mind??

?My grandfather. He died when I was young, but he really loved me.?

?Good. Now imagine that you are seeing yourself through the eyes of your grandfather. What does your grandfather see when he looks at you??

?He sees a bright and creative little boy, who is very kind and caring. A loving little boy. A little boy who is funny and likes to laugh, and likes to make other people laugh.?

?Is there anything wrong with this little boy? Anything inadequate or insufficient??

?Oh no! He is a wonderful little boy.?

?David, this is who you really are. You are not your performance. Your performance will come and go and at some point you might retire and not perform at all. Yet that does not mean that you are, therefore, worthless. Your worth is in who you are, not in what you do. Your worth in intrinsic.?

David realized that, because of his highly critical and rejecting parents, he had always been trying to prove himself and always came up short in their eyes. As a result of seeing himself as unworthy and inadequate, he did not treat himself well. He treated himself the way his parents had treated him ? with criticism and neglect. He was always trying to take care of everyone else, but rarely thought about taking care of himself. He was constantly abandoning himself emotionally, just as he had been emotionally abandoned by his parents.

?David, if you chose to see yourself as your grandfather saw you rather than how your parents saw you, how would you feel about yourself and how would you treat yourself??

?I?ve just been thinking about that. I just realized that I treat my dog better than I treat myself! I would never judge my dog the way I judge myself.?

?So what would you do differently if you saw yourself the way your grandfather sees you??

?I would stop judging myself as insufficient and inadequate. I?m a really good person. I am not at all insufficient or inadequate as a person. And I choose my friends based on who they are as people ? not on their performance. So I obviously value the very qualities that I possess!?

?What else would you do if you really valued who you are??

?I would listen to my own feelings and take care of my own needs instead of taking care of everyone else?s feelings and needs. I would no longer see it as selfish to take care of myself instead of taking care of everyone else. I would be at least as attentive to myself as I am to my dog!?

David was glowing. He was discovering who he really is, not who he thought he was.

People often think that their worth ? who they really are ? is based on looks and performance. Yet these qualities are transitory. What is real and eternal is who you are in your heart and soul. If you shift your definition of your worth from outer to inner, you will stop trying to prove yourself. You will know that you are already a beautiful being, totally deserving of love.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. best-selling author of eight books, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: <a href="http://www.innerbonding.com">http://www.innerbonding.com</a> or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com.